Rain

  Once upon this Saturday morning, Bonnie and I were arriving home from an appointment. Bonnie went to pick up the older two kiddos from a kind neighbor babysitting them. I walked in the house. It was a nice day, even warm considering the recent week's chill. Imagine my surprise to walk inside and hear the clear sound of a good strong rainstorm. No thunder or wind mind you, just the sound of a good hard rain.

  Realizing this to be abnormal, I rushed toward the sound. There, in our very own hallway, pouring from our Swamp Cooler vent, was a magnificent rain storm. On second thought, the rain was so steady that there weren't many drops at all; it was more like a lovely little waterfall.

While most people would ooh and aah at a waterfall whilst pondering the meaning of life, my reaction was slightly different. Something more akin to:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  The only thing my brain could think of was: Buckets! I need buckets! After quickly realizing that I had no clue if we owned any buckets, let alone where they would be, I went for trash cans. The first one I dumped out on the floor, dirty diapers and all. The smell of this gave me some degree of consciousness and so the next two I emptied in our garage trash can first.

  I have long pronounced myself as the world's worst handy-man and I'm hoping this post might earn me at least an honorable mention in this year's Tim Taylor competition. You see, this could have easily been prevented if I had winterized our swamp cooler. I've known for a while that I've needed to, but I can list you numerous excuses as to why I hadn't yet done so. Not only that, the valve I thought was for our swamp cooler was actually for our refrigerator's non-existent ice maker, so I wouldn't have actually turned it off even if I'd thought I had.

  As you may have guessed by now, the pipe going up to the swamp cooler had frozen and bursted the pipe. On this nice warm day, the ice in the pipe had melted and provided us our aforementioned waterfall. However, I did not immediately come to that conclusion. I knew that swamp coolers needed to be drained of their water as part of the winterization process, so I assumed that the swamp cooler's store of water was somehow leaking down. With my trusty trash cans in place, I went and borrowed a neighbor's ladder. After being completely inept at getting the ladder up (it fell on me twice), I got another neighbor to help me lean it up against my house and the two of us ascended to the roof. We saw the water around it frozen and used a hammer and screwdriver to chip it loose. The top third or so was ice, but all the rest underneath was a slushy liquid state. I was convinced that this water underneath was the source of our waterfall. We got a lot of the ice chunks out and got the rest draining onto the roof, but the waterfall was not slowing its pace. I began to realize something else was amiss.

  I went back down and, desiring to understand better where this water was coming from, I decided to unscrew the vent cover on my ceiling. As the third of four screws (it was only attached on two opposing sides) was nearly out, the fourth screw gave and the thing came crashing down. I don't think it dented any walls, but I was a bit surprised.

Now looking up into my vent I could see that the water was not coming down through it, but rather was in the ceiling and was using the vent as its escape hatch.

  By now I suspect some of you are thinking "SHUT THE WATER OFF ALREADY YOU DORK!!!!" Hey! Good idea! We filled up some water bottles and I went downstairs and shut it off*. Not, however, before the water started coming through the ceiling around the vent and even dripping down through the light fixture near it.

  So... what next? Well, I called a plumber and he was able to be there in 20 minutes. (He did an awesome job and for a great price. I highly recommend him.) He kindly informed me that the line I thought was for the swamp cooler was not. He replaced the broken pipe by pulling a new one up while taking the old one out and of course got things all hooked up. At my request he also referred me to a restoration company.

  The restoration company was here within an hour. They tore out carpet padding, some drywall, ceiling area with insulation, etc. and set up dryers and a de-humidifier to run through Monday or Tuesday. At that point they will replace and repair things.

 The hallway with a couple of the fans and the de-humidifier

 Removed drywall section.

Ceiling with tarp covering removed area.

  I now know a lot more about my swamp cooler. I know which tube goes up to the cooler, how to drain the tube and how to drain the cooler. I also know that it needs a new belt for next summer. I'm not sure, however, if I got the filter/sides put back on right...

* Yes, I actually do know where my water main shut off valve is and how to use it. If you're not impressed at that by now, you probably should be.